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Yesterday's Winnipeg Rumor Sequence of Events With Other Possible Scenarios

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By Travis Hair
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The scene yesterday on the internet after the Phoenix Business Journal reported that a deal was in place with Winnipeg should the Coyotes Sale fall though. (Approximated)
The scene yesterday on the internet after the Phoenix Business Journal reported that a deal was in place with Winnipeg should the Coyotes Sale fall though. (Approximated)

So yesterday the hockey blogoverse along with the hockey twitter everything exploded as the Phoenix Business Journal published a story online saying that there was a deal in principal with a Winnipeg group should the deal to sell the Coyotes locally fail. It took a few hours for anyone to actually find the story, but when real reporting outlets attempted to actually follow up it was quickly said that, no, this wasn't real. That didn't stop anyone hoping for a Jets return from running around in circles proclaiming they were coming back. It doesn't seem to matter what anyone says. Bill Daly denies it. "Oh it's a non denial denial. It's totally happening." This seems to be the general M.O. of all these crazies. I don't get way this happens, but I think I've finally figured out how to translate actions into the meaning to these "relocationists". Here's the Breakdown of the possible meanings behind any reaction Daly could have made...

Possibility 1:
  • Phoenix Business Journal releases story, Daly says nothing.
  • Relocationist reaction: ZOMG! It's happening! Daly didn't deny it at all that means it's true!!! (They then spin in circles until they pass out)
Possibility 2:
  • Phoenix Business Journal releases story, Daly denies it.
  • Relocationist reaction: DALY IS A DAMN LIAR! It's happening! The team is moving!
Possibility 3:
  • Phoenix Business Journal releases story, Daly says denies it, Bettman denies it, Winnipeg Mayor denies it, True North denies it, your mom denies it, the Pope denies it, The Robot Pope denies it, Jesus returns to Earth with a Coyotes Jersey on and says no, the team isn't moving.
  • Relocationist reaction: They're just trying to not get our hopes up, it's happening, the team is moving
ARE WE STARTING TO SEE A PATTERN? 

I hope so, let's try another scenario after the jump just to be sure.

Scenario: Any little thing negative happens with any offer to keep the Coyotes in Phoenix.

Example: Anthony LeBlanc or Daryl Jones orders a turkey and swiss sandwich from a local eatery. They are informed that the eatery is out of swiss cheese.

Possibility 1:
  • Group explains why the issue isn't a big deal in great detail and in rational terms that anyone can understand without a degree in international sandwich law.
  • Relocationist reaction: These guys are stupid. They can't possibly be serious about running a team if they're explaining this in ways I'll understand. The team has to be moving.
Possibility 2:
  • Group says nothing about the cheese in the example and quietly has the swiss replaced with real cheddar.
  • Relocationist reaction: They're switching things around! See I told you there were problems! THE TEAM MUST MOVE!
Possibility 3:
  • Group gets a completely different sandwich like a meatball sub. Unfortunately that's a messy sandwich and LeBlanc gets a little on him
  • What a mess these guys are. If they get the team you're screwed Phoenix fans.... But really they're moving now anyways.
Do we need anymore? I'll make them up if we do. Basically what it boils down to is this. If anyone, with any giant sum of money came in to buy the Coyotes and keep them here these people would still hold on to any shred of anything and create a scenario where the team would move. Bettman picked his nose? "He was pointing up, which means North, which means that the Coyotes must be moving back to Winnipeg!" Sure. My examples are dumb and cheesy, but so are 90% of the rationales that have been thrown out there of why the team has to move. It's just dumb. Quite frankly I don't think it's a fight worth fighting anymore with these types of people because you can't win. I'm going to do my best to enjoy the playoffs and just take things as they come. I fail at times, like yesterday, but stupidity is really annoying. All it really does is frustrate you (see: me) and scare your cats when you yell at the computer.

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