1. Owners will be fined $2,000 every time the referees microphone doesn't work during a game.
2. Players are limited to 2 hockey cliches during post game interviews.
3. Each team may revoke one trade made by a moronic former GM (hello Danny Briere!).
4. People are not allowed to take color commentators seriously anymore.
5. Kid Casters are forbidden.
6. Players who don't show up for training camp and the first few games of the season because they want to be traded will have the name on the sweater be replaced with "Crybaby" for the next two seasons.
7. Owners are required verify that their TV announcers can announce all the players names before a game.
8. Arena sound system volumes return to 1970's decibel levels.
9. Pierre McGuire to be fined $10 every time he mentions a player's hometown or sits/stands too close to a person he interviews.
10. Owners are not allowed to change the team's colors and/or logo without a 2/3 majority approval vote from fans.
11. At least one player from each team needs to be mic'ed every game so we can capture moments like this again.
12. The owners nor their representatives are allowed to "thank the fans" in any manner.
13. Players aren't allowed to Tweet (or whatever future Twitter is) "We just want to play"
Remember to comment below with your own suggestions on what you want in the new CBA so you get a crack at winning a free copy of The Instigator.